Wow, so you want to die young?

Wow, those pictures were probably supposed to be enticing, but seriously Jeff--have you thought about your health? I mean, surely you'd like to live past forty, and at this rate...wow. Try a carrot or something. Or better yet, a nice healthy piece of fish...

Oops...nevermind.

Of course, it's not your fault. You're landlocked, and all your seafood is coated in sour BP oil. Not much of a sauce, if you ask me--but maybe you like your black tar mustard.

As for me, I guess I have a few more options...

Why the Misogynistic Hate?

Dear Hoboy,

I have no problem with hatred. As in my hatred for you. But the term "health-freak pussy" is a very crude term loaded with all sorts of misogynistic hate. Why? What did women ever do to you (besides bringing you into this world)? By the way, does your mother know that you use these words?

I recommend that you choose your hate-filled words more carefully (you consider yourself a writer of sorts, don't you). And for the record I do not think of myself as a "health nut." In fact, I believe indulgence with moderation is a superb thing. Take for example my recent outing to a local pub with wonderful food: the Black Sheep Lodge.

You may recall this joint but in case you don't here is the logo:


Perhaps I have discovered the source of your unbridled misogyny: your inability to find chili cheese dogs and onion rings in your futile quest for spiritual enlightenment in South East Asia. Go ahead, scratch and sniff.


Also, get a better look at those delicious onion rings.


This is me devouring my first bite of the chili cheese dog while thinking about how pathetic your lame fried chicken and cold sausage looked. Do you see the hatred in my eyes for you?


Oh, let's not forget the beer:

Sucker...

And another thing--you don't know_____

Jeff, when did you become such a *darn lame dude?

There, I said it.

In response, suck it (see below)

That's right. Suck on that chicken wing. Go cry to KFC

There are so many sausage jokes to make...

By the way, I really think that you're lame. I mean, soup? It's like you're not even trying.

In the immortal words of The Simpsons, "you don't make friends with salad."

*Note: above blog has been edited, because apparently Jeff is a sensitive little PC baby and naughty language makes him kwy.

Yummy Soup: a Response to 4 cent Donuts

Oh Danny... You should really try to eat more healthy on the road.

I've been eating wonderfully healthy, especially with Leanne cooking so much lovely food for me recently. Take for example this soup made with fresh local vegetables (not imported high-fructose corn-syrup and other crazy ingredients that allow you to buy 4 cent donuts...). Also, I should add that the soup was cheaper than your donuts: it was free! (Thanks Leanne!)

I want to apologize for my editorial staff who could not rotate the video below vertically due to their pressing deadline. Therefore I have special instructions to maximize your cinematic experience.

Viewing Directions:

1)Tilt head horizontally to the left.
2) Place bucket on ground below your head.
2) Press 'Play' icon.
3) Allow tears to drop in bucket.

Eating Your Soul

There's actually weeks worth of photos and videos illustrating why I'm "GYNH," but when I saw these lovelies today I knew I had to show you.

Each of these cost 2 baht, or 6 cents. But that's not the point. The point is that your life sucks. You know, you had a good couple of videos after months of abject failure. Congrats. And sometimes, I'm having such a good time, seeing so many amazing things, that I forget that in the end, this is about something simple. My life being better than yours.

And here's just a tiny example.

More to come...

Parcheesi Update: the Winner Speaks!

Danny, I know how you hate it when you don't know who wins a game.

So, without further ado:

Fly on the Wall: Parcheesi Edition

Leaves? Leaves and some random people half-heartedly (at best) agreeing with you? That's suppose to make me feel... what... envious? Jealous? Upset?

Danny, let me ask a more personal question: are they really your friends? Do they play parcheesi with you? Hold on... let me guess: NO. Who would want to play parcheesi with you anyway?

I'm worried about you. I can imagine how you must feel frightfully alone in need of my warm embrace. Or even a shoulder to cry on at night when nobody else will truly accept you for who you are? May this video comfort you instead:



Oh yeah, "ka-blam!" I know you can do better.