And another thing--you don't know_____

Jeff, when did you become such a *darn lame dude?

There, I said it.

In response, suck it (see below)

That's right. Suck on that chicken wing. Go cry to KFC

There are so many sausage jokes to make...

By the way, I really think that you're lame. I mean, soup? It's like you're not even trying.

In the immortal words of The Simpsons, "you don't make friends with salad."

*Note: above blog has been edited, because apparently Jeff is a sensitive little PC baby and naughty language makes him kwy.

Yummy Soup: a Response to 4 cent Donuts

Oh Danny... You should really try to eat more healthy on the road.

I've been eating wonderfully healthy, especially with Leanne cooking so much lovely food for me recently. Take for example this soup made with fresh local vegetables (not imported high-fructose corn-syrup and other crazy ingredients that allow you to buy 4 cent donuts...). Also, I should add that the soup was cheaper than your donuts: it was free! (Thanks Leanne!)

I want to apologize for my editorial staff who could not rotate the video below vertically due to their pressing deadline. Therefore I have special instructions to maximize your cinematic experience.

Viewing Directions:

1)Tilt head horizontally to the left.
2) Place bucket on ground below your head.
2) Press 'Play' icon.
3) Allow tears to drop in bucket.

Eating Your Soul

There's actually weeks worth of photos and videos illustrating why I'm "GYNH," but when I saw these lovelies today I knew I had to show you.

Each of these cost 2 baht, or 6 cents. But that's not the point. The point is that your life sucks. You know, you had a good couple of videos after months of abject failure. Congrats. And sometimes, I'm having such a good time, seeing so many amazing things, that I forget that in the end, this is about something simple. My life being better than yours.

And here's just a tiny example.

More to come...

Parcheesi Update: the Winner Speaks!

Danny, I know how you hate it when you don't know who wins a game.

So, without further ado:

Fly on the Wall: Parcheesi Edition

Leaves? Leaves and some random people half-heartedly (at best) agreeing with you? That's suppose to make me feel... what... envious? Jealous? Upset?

Danny, let me ask a more personal question: are they really your friends? Do they play parcheesi with you? Hold on... let me guess: NO. Who would want to play parcheesi with you anyway?

I'm worried about you. I can imagine how you must feel frightfully alone in need of my warm embrace. Or even a shoulder to cry on at night when nobody else will truly accept you for who you are? May this video comfort you instead:



Oh yeah, "ka-blam!" I know you can do better.

Dear Professor:

As if. Wow, it's Leanne Leanne Leanne, all of a sudden. Wow, what an original concept! Strike the heart. I'd do the same, but it's hard to attack erudite thesis statements and footnotes. Oh, and I noticed that you FINALLY decided to follow in my footsteps and use clever labels. And it only took you months.

You suck .Sorry, but it's true. Even your wife thinks so. She just stays with you for the sweet sweet American visa.

What I'll grant it that your tamale video was good. I think you're finally starting to understand showmanship, instead of just ejaculating your poorly-formed slights onto the screen. Congrats.

But seriously, did you SEE those leaves?

It's getting to the point where I'm having trouble deciding how exactly to make you feel bad about your station in life and how inferior it is to mine. Waterfalls, mountains, fried noodles, fresh fish, beer Laos, the list goes on.

So I've gone with leaves. Big freaking leaves. Peace out.

Garbage Bags. Lots and Lots of Garbage Bags.

Geez, Danny what did you ever say to her about garbage bags. I never understood why you couldn't just let Leanne live her life without worrying about running out of them. Do you see now the path of destruction and deep emotional scars on peoples lives that you've left behind in your wake of "me me me." This should give you pause for self-examination.



It must make you very sad to hear Leanne say that she's glad you're not here. Me? Whatever. Leanne? Ohhh, I feel a little bad for you.

Hot Tamales!

Dear Hopelessman,

Here is a special little moment from a tamale making party. Don't worry, we sent you some in the mail. Have they arrived?

A Reality Check

That's right. My photo speaks for itself. For the record, that's not even my swimming hole. It's just my bathroom.

Oh, and Naoko, I'm shocked and dismayed that you would enter this blogular battle. I mean, we both know that the only thing good and true in Jeff's life right now is you (awwww)

Leanne. Three of the notes you sung were flat in that previous post. And it sounded like you got punched in the &*^&%%*^&.

So to all of you, glad you're not here and all that.

I'm gonna get some sticky rice.

Barton Springs Can Suck It

Barton Springs sucks, Jeff.

There, I said it. It's not that we didn't have any good times there, but after seeing Kuang Si Waterfall pools, Barton Springs looks it was filled by a puking undergrad desperately seeking acceptance. 

You got your wife to fight your battle, then my girl.

Gloves are off, jerk.

Hope you have bed bugs.

A Message from Leanne

This is actually kinda sweet. Only Leanne...

A Message from Naoko